Seeing me Through Him
Before I start to say anything about this post of mine, first off, I should make one of my traits known. Anyone who knows me would know that my life is centred around words. Words run in my blood and eloquence as well as sometimes stumbling, simplicity as well as adorned, big as well as the smallest, unusual and foreign words seduce me like anything. I believe in words more than actions. Anyone who is close to me, I always expect them to be frank and honest with me. I want them to become storytellers like I am. A mean word can cut me deeper than a knife ever can. A word of praise can make my smile turn brighter than it usually is. I know that I smile like a fool when I see and hear a guy (usually in movies and books, duh) profess his love to the girl and anyone in the modern world would say they are cheesy but I love them. The way they say, “You complete me”, “You have bewitched me, mind and heart and soul and I love, love, love you”, “I do not know how you did it but you have my heart in your hands and I could not think of any other person who I would want to give it to” is completely mesmerizing and if someone proposed to me with half as much as sincerity and heart in their words, I would run up to him and kiss him on the lips and never let him go. The bottom line, nothing could affect me more, make me cry or make me laugh than words.
Anyways I fear I have drifted off the topic I meant to write about but last night I had an encounter, well not a real one, but a dream one that I will always remember. Usually I do sleep dreamless but yesterday, something happened and I learnt a lesson.
I was standing in the middle with heavy fog swirling around me, making my environment invisible to me. A gentle wind was playing with my open hair and I was wearing something I don’t remember. Suddenly, in a split second everything turned black and I could not see anything. I could feel a presence but I couldn’t pinpoint an exact location where it was. It was like I was surrounded by the strange comfort but I was scared like hell because I am afraid of darkness. After a little while I could hear a voice, a low but very masculine voice, “Do not be afraid. I will not harm you.” I could feel a shiver running down my body but it was so unbelievably soothing.
I quaked a little before asking, “Who is this?”
The answer came back. “I am surrounding you but I cannot see you. Can you describe yourself?”
I scoffed, because I do not know how you would react but I do not consider myself pretty or any part of my body being worth mentioning.
I replied to him, “Nothing special to describe.”
The voice replying back was polite and smiling as if he knew something. “Can I see for myself?”
I was shocked and did not know what to do. Before I could reply, I could feel something, some form of hand extending itself to the level of my hands. It was like I was drugged when I felt my own hands moving to touch his. I could not feel much except something grasping me.
The hands leaving mine after a second started its journey on my forehead and continued on to my closed eyes, then my nose and then my lips. “You have a smattering of freckles over your skin, don’t you? Long eyelashes with a little more than average stuck up nose, lips that are just perfect and curving up in a smile now, I am sure.”
Then the hands travelled down my arms and stopped at my hands, spreading them open palm up. “You have small fingers but smooth. You have a caring touch but your hands are cold, not the biting cold but a warm cold. Someone deprived of a loving touch would kill for a touch like yours to soothe them.”
The hands came to rest on my hips but did not move from there. “You have curves just like a complicated road and I am sure someone in this world is dying to unravel your secrets.”
Suddenly, out of the blue I was dancing with this unknown presence and I was free. I could feel him smiling and somehow I could feel his happiness coursing through me. I was cocooned up in a warm blanket of safety and peace when I woke up this morning.
You must be thinking, what lesson is there to learn from this? But I did learn something. Whoever or whatever was in my dreams taught me to see myself from someone else eyes and I will never forget what he said to me- everything about my hands and face and body because I know I am beautiful but I also know now that for sure that everyone who loves me sees me in the same way the body-less voice did and it may sound weird but I learnt it last night- I am beautiful and that voice inside my head will always tell me I am, whoever says it or not.
